So I might relief

 As I start getting older, life becomes harder; and I think it's normal. But what I don't think is normal is the massive dose of pressure.

  To be fair, pressure is a common state that happens to people during working or taking fateful decisions. While for a starting-up human being, it doesn't fair at all!. It's a heavy burden that can't be handled somehow. I am asked to keep up the society's development and achieve my goals at the same time. For me, I'd choose to achieve goals of course, and here is the pressure that comes up; because I'd be the weirdo!. It doesn't mean I care that much about what others say, I actually try not to. But living among people who are different from you, and you look a stranger to them is so so hard. Not to mention the psychological state's ups and downs and its needs to be stable. 

I'm not grumbling because I know it's a journey and should be lived till the end, but it is tough here where is my hometown.

My wishes and needs are increasing by days, and sometimes I become empty-handed, trapped, and can't do anything but write them down in my diary. 

I can't deny life gave me many beautiful things and moments I'm grateful for, but this is just the beginning. Even though I have my perspective of how to live life peacefully the way I want, I'm afraid of being tempted to change my mind. I HOPE NOT TO.

However, I completely know that things need time to happen, and I have to be patient and work hard, yet it's difficult, again!.

Anyway, I write when I feel something because it sounds like writing is the only way to express that feeling.